Philippine dance master returns home with ‘The Road to Sydney’

MANILA, Philippines – A silhouette of a woman in a modern Filipiniana pantsuit sits in the dark hallways of the theater. As the screen flickered to life, Sydney Loyola shared her story to Filipinos for the first time.

Sydney, a Fil-Am transwoman and renowned Philippine dance master and choreographer, is the protagonist of the documentary film, The Road to Sydney. It was screened for the first time in the country in November at the QCinema International Film Festival.

The feature documentary, directed by Emmy-awarded producer Benito Bautista and produced by Emma Francisco of Wanderlustproject Films and Sonia Delen, Wendy Pascual, and Conrad Calalang of OneUp Film Studios, navigates Sydney’s deeply personal journey on her challenges after her gender affirmation.

“I’ve seen the film three times already, and all the times I did feel like reliving everything. The trauma becomes fresh again, and then I see the triumph,” Sydney shared at the talkback program after a screening.

As she steps into her life as a woman, Sydney begins walking her path to healing — reconnecting with her roots, reclaiming her art, and rebuilding her relationship with her estranged father.

Sydney Loyola (third from right) with director Benito Bautista (fourth from right) and the producers . Photo by Elle Guison/Rappler

Discovering dance

Before there was Sydney, there was Jay Loyola, born and raised in Puerto Princesa in Palawan. Sydney shared in her stories that Jay was a shy and emotionally sensitive kid, and that at the early age of five, he already knew he was different.

“My mom used to tell me that her pregnancy craving with me was a jackfruit, and so I’m similar to its tree that bleeds sap when cut — I cry when I’m hurt,” Sydney said.

Jay started attending formal dance classes at this age, and in a way, it was an outlet for him to express his emotions. Long before he knew his true identity, movement was already a part of his core.

He started with ballet before he discovered the Bayanihan technique or Philippine dance. Until one day, he heard of a newly opened dance school managed by an Austrian named Hans-Christian Wagner. Young Jay learned about modern/contemporary dance from him.

“What’s good about dance is it has become my anchor. Because in dance, when I’m in the studio, I’m not judged as a person but according to what I can contribute,” she said.

In dance, Sydney believes and feels there is no gender. “Whenever I have doubts, I go back to dancing,” she added.

And dance never failed to support Jay’s dream of becoming Sydney. It paved the way for him to perform abroad and to further hone his techniques. He then became the artistic director of Holy Trinity University in Palawan.

But the main motivation to move to the United States wasn’t dance. It was his friend Laika who suffered from sickness that made Jay realize he needed a retirement plan.

“Laika used to be a very feminine and beautiful hairdresser in our town, but when I visited her at the hospital, she became frail and her facial hair grew,” she narrated.

“At that moment, I realized that I wanted a better retirement plan, and staying in Palawan might make it impossible for me to reach that dream.”

And so Jay took a leap in 2006, and once again, dance paved the path for Sydney.

Coming home

After a decade of working in the US, Jay finally decides to go through a complete transition for gender affirmation.

This was also the start of the eight-year process of filming The Road to Sydney.

“In the film, we showed Sydney’s life as Jay and the events leading to the full realization of Sydney herself. It all started in Palawan, and it was just fitting to end the story where it began,” said film director Benito Bautista.

Sydney’s physical transition took about four years. Throughout the process, she shared that there were multiple times she still questioned Sydney’s identity.

“I didn’t really know who the final Sydney would be. I didn’t have an image in mind, or a face I wanted to copy, but one morning in the fourth year of my transition, I woke up feeling that the wait was over,” Sydney said.

Once she felt her soul matched her body and appearance, she knew she was already completely “Sydney” and it was the perfect time to go home.

One of the things she envisioned doing in Palawan was to choreograph and perform a dance by the beach. They had the opportunity to dedicate it to her deceased mother, and Sydney shared that this was her favorite scene in the film, as it felt like a full-circle moment. 

“I used to dance on the beaches with my cousins when we were younger, and now, I can finally do it as a woman,” she shared.

“I was in hiding when I was still Jay, but when I performed as Sydney, it felt like the real me. And even better, my audience will see me as Sydney and not as Jay anymore.”

Another thing she wanted to do was to visit her estranged father and hopefully find acceptance. The documentary team initially faced some challenges, but in the end, the cameras captured a fond father-daughter moment that made the whole cinema cry.

“I realized everybody is probably affected by my interaction and relationship with my dad, even if they’re not part of the LGBTQIA+ community,” said Sydney.

To her, returning to the Philippines was more than just a film screening. The documentary is her personal life she accepted to share — both as Jay and Sydney.

“After I’ve shared my story, it stops being about me,” she said. “It starts to become about everyone else who struggles to find their true identity and those who are still in hiding, and I’m hoping my story gives them the courage they need.” – Rappler.com