At this regular dating event, people pitch their friends to potential lovers

For years, online encounters dominated the modern Filipino dating scene. 

With the rise of dating apps like Bumble and Tinder and the COVID-19 lockdowns keeping people cooped up in their bedrooms, it became almost inevitable that all romantic interactions would find a new home in the online world. 

People swiped left and right in search of the perfect match, struck up conversations that often led nowhere, or went through multiple talking stages — all without having met the person on the other side of the screen. 

Data from The Nerve even suggests that people nowadays have learned how to curate their social media presence, making it all the more difficult to peel back all these virtual layers to get to know “the one” in their most authentic form. 

There’s a burnout, and it’s becoming harder and harder to ignore. The solution? To bring back face-to-face encounters. 

Getting used to meeting new people again

Under the low light of a Quezon City restaurant, adults aged 30 and up gathered on a Friday night, dressed to the nines in hopes of putting their best foot forward so they can deliver the best presentations of their lives.

No, they’re not at a business conference. They’re at Pitch-A-Friend, IRL Manila’s regular initiative where people can quite literally pitch their single friends to potential lovers in the room. All you need is a ticket, a compelling pitch deck, and of course, your single friend’s consent.

It’s not a new concept. One of its founders, Mark Armas, shared that the idea was based on New York City’s Pitch and Pair, which holds larger-scale events that have expanded to neighboring states and countries like Canada.

“In my head, I was like, ‘Wow, this is such a fun-looking and unique kind of dating event.’ That time, I hadn’t seen anything done here in Manila so I wanted to bring this to the city. My friends were supportive, and that sort of encouraged me that people really want this kind of event to happen.”

Whether or not people are willing to admit it, dating apps have changed the modern dating scene, but it’s a mixed bag. Some lucky users were able to find their special someone after a few taps, while others only ran into letdowns left and right.

Pitch-A-Friend, then, hopes to offer a completely different experience as it takes things offline. Different editions feature different demographics — with there being a 21-and-up iteration, and the latest one being for those in their 30s.

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“Even before starting Pitch-A-Friend here, I always had that feeling that meeting someone in person or organically is always better and feels more fun or more special. People are really starving for genuine connection, and it’s just really hard to get that by swiping on countless people [on dating apps],” Armas told Rappler.

The premise of Pitch-A-Friend is simple. Prepare a three-to-five-minute presentation highlighting your friend’s best qualities, what they do for work and fun, what they’re looking for in a partner, and basically anything you deem important for their potential match to know.

Pitchers do their best to successfully find their friend a match at Pitch-A-Friend. Juno Reyes/Rappler

There’s then a five-minute Q&A where the rest of the crowd can anonymously ask the pitcher and the pitchee questions, from the “big three” on their natal charts to their honest opinions on a guy having close female friends.

At Pitch-A-Friend, the crowd is able to anonymously ask questions to the pitcher and pitchee. Juno Reyes/Rappler

The audience is given the chance to rate the pitcher — kind of like you’re thesis panelists giving marks to your students after a defense. It gets pretty competitive, because at the end of the night, the crowd’s vote ultimately decides who the Best Pitcher award goes to.

Even then, the atmosphere remains light, because no matter if you’re the pitcher, the pitchee, or just there for moral support, everyone is there for the same thing: to build real connections with those around them.

New friends, new love interest, or both?

A quick scan of the room at past iterations of Pitch-A-Friend will show you that interestingly, it’s women that are dominating these events.

“We tried to invite more men. We really pushed it. But we realized it’s the women who are really out there. The guys need a bit more push. They need a friend with them and all that. They’re a little shy,” co-founder Tatyana Gonzaga of IRL Manila shared.

So even if you don’t come out of the event with a new prospect, at least you’re sure to walk out of the venue with new friends — and the organizers can attest to that. Armas holds that part of the magic of Pitch-A-Friend is that despite it being a dating event, many of its past attendees have ended up becoming good friends with each other.

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“That’s why we really love hosting Pitch-A-Friend, because you’re not just there to date someone. You’re there to celebrate someone’s friend who is obviously a great catch and everyone’s just wondering, ‘Why is this person still single?’ Eventually, we might have the answer to that when we get to know the person, but at least you’ve made that connection,” Gonzaga said.

It’s the aspect of community that really shines at Pitch-A-Friend, because you have an entire room of people who just want the best for their closest pals and, funny as it may sound, the future of their love lives. These people go all out to play matchmaker for their platonic soulmates, and that alone makes it all worthwhile to see.

But the question is: are you willing to give it a shot? – Rappler.com