Trash piles and soggy floors: Trump’s White House man 'cave' is a horror: report

Excerpts from Regime Change, a book by New York Times reporters Maggie Haberman and Jonathan Swan, reveal President Donald Trump’s private residence is filled with damp carpets and junk food trash, reports Jezebel writer Wren Woodson.

Donald and Melania Trump famously maintain separate bedrooms, but Trump’s quarters are exactly the mold-threatened mess-pile some critics might expect from a man who stays up all night snacking and posting demented rants on the social media.

“As if the mold hazard weren’t enough, staffers also had to babysit the president’s late-night snacking habits,” wrote Woodson.

Trump is a compulsive all-night social media crawler, as indicated by his outlandish, hours-long chain posts and his perpetual narcolepsy during meetings and press engagements — despite the fact that he himself often plans and sets the meetings before falling unconscious in them. The president’s late night binging is so regular that he even fell asleep after blocking traffic at the NBA Finals and locking genuine fans out of seats.

But Haberman and Swan say all that overnight lip-boxing comes complete with a long string of food.

“A nighttime snacker, the President would frequently leave an array of empty potato chip bags, Starbucks wrappers, and ice cream cartons in the trash, or on the floor,” say the authors, according to Woodson.

But it wasn’t just trash, said Woodson. Staffers now must monitor Trump’s rising pile of garbage for valuables after they discovered the president was apparently throwing out actual White House sterling silver utensils (paid for by taxpayers) “along with his empty Häagen-Dazs containers.”

And then there’s the bathroom, say the authors.

“Trump insisted on having carpet in his private bathroom — an interior design crime dating back to his first term,” said Woodson. “Naturally, the laws of physics and absorption ensued.”

“The portion nearest the shower would often be soaked through; the staff was never quite sure why, but they worried about mold growing underneath,” Haberman and Swan write. “The solution was to lay a small piece of the same carpet — never an actual bath mat — over the larger one.”

“Instead of, you know, buying a $10 bath mat like a normal human being, the solution was to keep ‘several of these pieces’ of regular carpet in rotation, constantly swapping them out to dry,” complained Woodson. “Whatever you do for a living, take comfort in the fact that you aren’t currently blow-drying the president’s soggy bathroom rug.”

According to the authors, Trump also has a habit of scarpering off with White House decorations and items to re-arrange in his private quarters, apparently “on a whim.”

“Yes, picture it: the Commander-in-Chief, scurrying down the hallway like a raccoon in the night, stealing lamps and throw pillows,” said Woodson.

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